David Malki over at Wondermark has started a thread on epitaphs, and here's my submission:

* Fade from black; a face shrouded in shadow appears. *

"Is this thing on? … Ah, good. Greetings people of Earth. My name is Tim P... well my last name isn't important. If you're watching this, sometime in the past six months I have passed away. May I rest in peace."

"You may be wondering why this is relevant to you. It's quite simple really; most people are only really remembered for a few decades after they death at best before slipping into obscurity. I wish to avoid this fate, and still be talked about for centuries or even millennia to come."

"To that end I have constructed twelve nuclear warheads and positioned them in orbit. In 48 hours one [holds up one finger] of these missiles will be fired at one of twelve major cities."

* A list of twelve cities including Tokyo, Paris, Moscow, Los Angeles, etc are displayed along with approximate populations, and Latitude-Longitude. *

"It is up to you to choose which one. Simply go to nuclearepitaph.com and vote for the city you would like to see destroyed."

* Change back to the shadowy face. *

"Please note that if less than one million votes are received, or if the nuclearepitaph.com site is taken down, all twelve warheads will be deployed."

"Thank you and good bye."

* Fade to a stock image of a nuclear explosion. *

It does lack the traditional style of a block of rock with your name and a pithy quote, but the very fact that's it's unusual is what makes it so memorable (well that and the radioactive crater).

Categories: Humour
Date: 2010-05-28 23:03:53, 14 years and 51 days ago

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